Dear Vladimir …

 

Dear Vladimir,

On behalf of the Communist Party and the people of China, I would like to sincerely thank you for your recent actions in Ukraine.

When I saw Red Army troops marching into Crimea, my memory flashed back to the Budapest Memorandum the United States signed with the Ukrainians in 1994. In that agreement, the Americans promised that if Ukraine forfeited its nuclear weapons, then the United States would protect it from any future invasions.

This is the test, I said to my colleagues. If the Americans let comrade Putin invade and annex Crimea, and they pretend the Budapest Memorandum never happened, then they have faded into geopolitical irrelevance.

The Ukrainians cried out for America to honor its promise, but, Vladimir, you marched in there gung-ho! You pried Crimea back into Russia’s embrace. And against you and your troops, Mr. Obama deployed only rhetoric—and a set of sanctions softer than tofu.

It was a beautiful sight for these eyes of mine to witness. And one joy scatters a hundred griefs.

Mr. Obama did nothing to stop you from forcefully taking Crimea. My nation now knows we can use force to dominate the disputes we have in the South China Sea.
You understand why I have presented my support for you in this matter somewhat softly, so far. One of our ancient proverbs says a man cannot help shoots grow by pulling them up higher. It is not the correct hour to upset too many Westerners. But make no error, comrade: I—and 1.35 billion of my fellow communists—stand at your back.

Of course, neither the Russian Bear nor the Chinese Dragon currently has the military might to withstand open combat against the United States. But we both have something of which Washington is totally bereft, as you have proven. We have the will to fight. What does muscle matter, dear Vladimir, if it is never flexed? I thank you for proving that Washington’s days of flexing its muscle and wielding its butterfly sword are ancient history. You have drawn the punctuation mark on the conclusion of Pax Americana.

As that era ends, you and I are free to expand our territories and our influence in a way that we have never before enjoyed. Mr. Obama did nothing to stop you from forcefully taking Crimea. My nation now knows we can use force to dominate the disputes we have in the South China Sea.

Regarding this topic, you’ll have to pardon me if I give myself a bow of congratulation since I feel that I may have partially inspired your brave Crimean moves. I know you must have watched closely from the Kremlin back in November when I declared a massive expansion of China’s airspace into waters claimed by South Korea and Japan. We used this action to intimidate two of our most significant neighbors, to punish two American allies, and to openly challenge Mr. Obama’s Asian pivot.

Washington could have declared China’s claim to be null. Mr. Obama could have told America’s commercial airlines to act in solidarity with those of Japan, and defy my orders. America could have demonstrated that if a nation unilaterally tries to K.O. the status quo, then the West will counter with a united, strong, multilateral response.

But instead the reaction from the White House was delightfully laughable! They told America’s commercial airlines to obey my command. Then the administration politely asked me to refrain from enforcing my territory grab too forcefully. Mr. Obama left South Korea and Japan naked in the Chinese typhoon.

America has become a paper tiger. And under pressure, it will fold like origami.
It was a decisive moment for me, and I like to think it helped to persuade you that this is Asia’s hour. Who will stop us, Vladimir?

But I humbly admit that it was your unilateral takeaway of Crimea that ramped Asian aggression up to the next rung of the ladder. China couldn’t be more grateful to you for proving what many here in Beijing have long suspected: That America has become a paper tiger. And that under pressure, it will fold like origami.

Thank you for drawing back the silken curtain on Washington’s broken will—for you and I, our governments, our peoples, America’s allies and the whole world to see. The kanji script is on the wall.

For years, China has yearned to shake things up and demonstrate our superiority over our neighbors. We’ve wished to begin by grabbing some disputed, resource-rich islands, and also by putting an end to the childish “Taiwan” business. After all, you can’t catch a cub without going into the tiger’s den. Once we can set this precedent and consolidate these interests, we feel there is no limit in southeast Asia that can keep us from reaching our full potential for power. You have shown us that the time to pounce is now, and that when it comes to American allies and influence, it is open season.

We are weighing how the Japanese will respond after they outsourced their defense to the U.S. following World War ii. The Philippines, Taiwan and South Korea are in a similar situation: Asians who are reliant on Washington’s gunpowder and rice. But with the American battleship full of holes and rapidly sinking, they are left with two options: Bend a knee to Beijing, or gather their katanas for battle.

Already, with the Americans focusing—ineffectually—on you and less on containing China, Japan is taking steps in the direction of military self-reliance. For Japan’s katanas to be a real deterrent to China, of course, they would have to include nuclear weapons. The Japanese have the potential to rapidly create a nuclear arsenal, but we are amassing the political, economic and military power to pressure them into a scenario of our choosing, whether or not they develop nuclear weapons.

However, I calculate that it will not have to come to war among the Asians.

After all, what is the long-term aim? Beneath their cowardly kowtowing toward the U.S., don’t the Japanese and Koreans yearn to overthrow the world order that the West created almost as much as do the Russians and Chinese? Don’t they agree that the hour has come for the First World to experience some Third World conditions? I suspect they feel that they have burned incense to America for too long already.

I’ll tell you something now, Vladimir, which is not a statement any of my predecessors would have been able to say to any of your predecessors: In order to vanquish the Western order, China will submit to your leadership. Let us replace the West with the East.

After your moves in Crimea, my colleagues and I deeply respect you, and believe that you could be the one to thaw the ice between China and Japan, between Korea and Japan, between India and China.
It is no secret that Beijing would ultimately like to see the whole world remade in the Chinese image. As our ancient proverb says, There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. But, for now, we will settle for taking the West down a few rungs of the ladder. And we know we can’t do it as a solo effort. Another of our proverbs says that only when all contribute firewood can they build up a strong fire. And paper can’t wrap up fire.

After your moves in Crimea, my colleagues and I deeply respect you, and believe that you could be the one to thaw the ice between China and Japan, between Korea and Japan, between India and China.

If Beijing’s goal was only regional dominance, we would fare on our own. But to have a real effect on the global power balance, China, Russia and other Asian nations must all contribute firewood, and present a unified front. And the Chinese will let you be the shogun to lead that front. We are prepared to write your name on the wings of a dragon.

I believe that Ukraine was only an appetizer in the great meal you have planned. I couldn’t resist chuckling when I saw the White House report that it is “skeptical” that your Red Army build-up on Ukraine’s border was for peaceful purposes. Skeptical, Mr. Obama? Skeptical? Why ever for? His childish words make the bird in my heart sing and chirp. What a gift the American voters have given us with this president. Not only is he systematically dismantling the nation’s power, but his diplomacy is an endless source of entertainment for my colleagues and me.

I’ll be visiting you in May, and my hope is that we can push Russo-Chinese relations soaring to unprecedented heights—to the altitude of the black-footed albatross! I know that because of thick tensions with your customers in the West, you are gazing eastward in this hour as never before. You have just signed a major energy deal with India, and China is very thirsty for Russian oil and gas, too. The People’s Republic also wants to buy your SU-35s fighter jets more than ever. It is my sincere hope that, in light of recent events, we can finally dislodge our long stalled negotiations over these matters. Let’s make it all happen in a timely fashion, dear Vladimir. China is ready to do its part in backing you. Let’s make this the Asian century!

Respectfully and with support,

Xi Jingping, President of the People’s Republic of China

P.S. I admit that I was slightly uneasy with the referendum tactic you used in Crimea. As you know, Beijing is working to bring Taiwan officially under our flag, so the idea of justifying separatism by popular referendum is not a pleasant one to me. Nevertheless, I know you felt compelled to put on a bit of “democracy show” for the West, so I can’t fault you for it.