Are Dress, Civility and Manners Important?
On a recent flight, I took my window seat on a small airplane. A man took the seat right next to me. He was wearing dark sunglasses, a do-rag, and badly torn jeans. I said hello, and he was very polite. Turned out he was a soldier, working in military intelligence, returning to his wife and children after an extended deployment. We had a wonderful, substantive conversation about world events and the state of the nation. When we landed, he removed his glasses and do-rag. I saw for the first time what a sharp-looking man he was.
We naturally make judgments about people based on their dress and appearance. This man was projecting a certain image, in my view not a favorable one. Had I not been sitting next to him, I would not have thought to strike up a conversation and would have been the worse for it.
Society today sees a general lowering of dress standards. Many travelers seem to think that since you might nap aboard the airplane, you must travel in your pajamas. I am often stunned at what many people wear in public: skintight or awkwardly small clothing that exposes unsightly flesh; weird, multicolored haircuts; tattoos and piercings. Last fall, United States Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer decided to no longer enforce the dress code, which required business attire on the Senate floor. So one came in jeans, boots and no tie; another showed up in a hoodie and gym shorts. Even our government officials are loosening standards.
Your dress reflects your character. The person arrayed sloppily and weirdly is saying, I don’t have my life together. And also: The only person I care about is me. I don’t respect those around me; I can do whatever I want. That is simply not sound thinking.
Jesus Christ told His disciples, “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid” (Matthew 5:14). You cannot be a light if you just follow the world’s trends. He said to let our light shine so people can see our good works and glorify God (verses 15-16). Your dress is a part of that, as are your standards in conduct and conversation. Twice Christ said He is the light of the world (John 8:12; 9:5). He was always aware of His example. That is godly thinking.
Last summer I visited Philadelphia. Some parts of that city are inspiring, but others are populated with drugged-out zombies and littered with trash. YouTube hosts video footage of this city a century ago. At the Philadelphia Zoo in the 1920s, everyone is wearing full suits, beautiful dresses and smart hats. Even the children are dressed sharply.
Yet these Philadelphian zoo patrons almost look slovenly compared to Parisian streetgoers in 1902. Footage from there is filled with fine tuxedos and shapely formal dresses; every last individual is a picture of elegant perfection. Watch these recordings and you instantly recognize how far standards have plunged in just a few generations.
Today, cities across America are descending into squalor. Satan the devil loves to see such degradation because he hates human beings. He enjoys seeing people debased and disgraced. God wants everything done “decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40). He upholds high standards, and He cares how we dress and act, especially in public (see Matthew 22:11-13; Psalm 33:13-15). The place for gym clothes is the gym, not at restaurants and shops. Practicing good hygiene, being neat and clean, grooming suitably and dressing sharp demonstrate dignity and proper respect for others.
Courtesy and manners are also key. Here too the trend in society is unpleasant: Rudeness, tastelessness, a lack of decorum and unsightly emotional outbursts are increasingly common. Studies have tracked upticks in such behavior particularly since the covid-19 pandemic, which trapped people in their homes for months, lacking socialization. That tragic experience seems to have supercharged people’s self-absorption and delivered a mortal blow to civility.
1 Peter 3:8 tells us, “[B]e courteous.” 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that love “[d]oth not behave itself unseemly,” meaning improperly, unbecomingly, indecently. Courtesy means being considerate of how our appearance, behavior and speech affect other people. It means being thoughtful and creative in doing nice things for others. The importance of exercising courtesy in all our communication is emphasized in Colossians 4:6: “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” The fact that society is forgetting these basic tenets of politeness should make us all the more determined to hold them fast.
“[I]n the midst of a crooked and perverse nation,” God wants us to “shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15). This means resisting society’s direction and upholding godly standards. Before venturing out in public, be mindful of your dress and grooming. Strive for exemplary conduct and manners. Treat people with kindness and courtesy. However dark the world grows, continue to let your light shine.